Eye on the Prize!

I thought I'd beat off all my demons with a baseball bat in the therapist's office, but turns out a few of them showed up for my ride this morning. The wind was hitting me head on like a brick wall, I had snoot running down my arm and leg and my Aero bottle was splashing Heed (or whatever the heck it is I bought last time I stocked up)in my face. Half the time I love that thing and the other half I want to pull it out and slam it on the road behind me. Or maybe I could use it as a weapon next time some fat chick leans out her window to tell me to "get off the road"??! No??!! At least half a dozen times I was tempted to turn around and just call it a day. I kept asking myself "why the hell am I doing this to myself"...I can't remember a time when I wasn't sore...even my recovery weeks involve twice as much training as I did at my peak last summer! "For what" and "for whom" am I torturing myself like this for??? The only answer is because I CAN! And of course "for who?"...ME! And I can't quit on myself! So on I plowed...up those hills and into the wind like an angry, determined bull. And finally my positive attitude returned to me. Positive thinking is a powerful tool I tell you! I like to talk to myself when I ride! "You F**N rock, self!". "You're a beast!"..."You are going to slay the competition this year, self!" "You climb like a moutain goat, self!" The wind really is a great training tool, but its also demoralizing when you're already having a tough time. But I slayed it today! And I actually conquered a monster of a hill that I've never attempted before, because I was afraid of that hill. Its about a mile (more or less) of straight uphill...most of it is gradual but there are a few steep bits thrown in there! And then the best parts are the false flats...you see them and thing ahhh a break! But noooo!!! SO yeah to conquering inner demons! Tomorrow its on to 11 miles of trail running! That's my treat!